Are you familiar with the man or woman at the rink who apparently likes to give out advice more than, oh, skate? I have always wondered about that person (or people — there are a couple skaters like that whom I see on a semi-regular basis). I don’t get it, because when I go to the rink, I go to skate. Only to skate. Socializing may be a byproduct of my skating, but it is not a goal, not even a low-priority one — if I get zero socializing done but lots of skating, I’m happy. But they’re usually helpful people, with their hearts in the right places, so I don’t think anything of them and just continue on my way.
Except, of course, when it interferes with my practices. Now, if you’ve got a tip to offer, I’ll gratefully listen and try it out. I’m not talking about those people. I’m not talking about polite conversation or the occasional session of trading tips. If I’m not in the mood to talk, I don’t engage in the conversation and we all focus on our own things.
I’m talking about people who hover, whom you have to ignore in order to avoid. Who skate up to you and start ordering you, “Let me see that toe loop again” and stand there and wait until you oblige them.
I seriously lost my patience yesterday, and almost my temper. That NEVER happens. I’m a pretty low-key person and I usually just smile and keep to myself. But this skater kept popping up to tell me how to correct things (things the skater cannot perform), and was hard to brush off. I have found that the fastest way to deal with it is to nod, say thanks, and skate away. But this time was particularly persistent and I kept hearing my name being called out across the rink. I tried to put my concentrating face on and keep skating, but you can only ignore your name being boomed aloud for so many times before it becomes awkward for everyone.
I know that the advice I’ll probably get — and the advice I would give — is to just say something directly and frankly to the offender and get it to stop. But I have said mild things before, like, “Thanks, but I’m practicing now” or “I’ll stick to the way my coach taught me.” Also, I skate at this rink all the time, and it’s sort of like kicking up a fuss with a co-worker — sometimes it’s not worth the tension that would result, that you have to live with afterward. I start to see the appeal of freestyle sessions at the Serious Rink, aka the Kinda Mean Rink, because there nobody talks to anybody unless they’re in lesson. Sure, some skaters have serious chips on their shoulders and they all think they’re better than me — they’re better SKATERS, not people — but at least they don’t mess with my time or my practice. The problem is, skating there costs about four times as much as my regular rink.
Have you ever encountered this? How do you deal with it?
Sarah on Ice 
I find this really hard too. At my rink, it’s fortunately infrequent. But there is a regular visitor who does this — sometimes giving me advice, sometimes asking me advice, but always dawdling around, making smalltalk, and trying to engage me in conversation. I have 90 minutes, and I’d like to skate for 85 of them, not chitter-chatter for 20, so I feel your pain. I have also not wanted to offend, so I’ve tried to be polite but not warm in replying. She once told me that all I needed was a little more confidence to make something into a good jump. I told her that my coach had given me a series of walk-through drills and that I was SUPPOSED to be doing things small and slow to work on the muscle memory. After that, she nodded and stopped the advice. So, I guess, pulling the coach card worked in that case. It seems in your case it isn’t working. I’m not sure what I would do beyond what you have done, apart from wear headphones. You don’t have to have actual music on. Just wear the headphones so you can pretend not to hear her/him. It may be the case that after a skate or two, the habit gets broken, and it’s easier. I’m not sure. This may be terrible advice, but at least I can also offer you some sympathy, right?
Thanks for weighing in, Andrea! Actually it’s really encouraging just to have you commiserate, to know I’m not the only one who thinks this way or encounters this. Thankfully it’s not frequent for me either, and if it were every day I would probably think more seriously about moving or being more outspoken. It’s just that when it does happen, it’s enough to aggravate me. Plus this instance was particularly egregious — literally stopping me while I was clearly practicing to advise me on something I had done five minutes ago.
I may have to try the headphone suggestion! I find it unnerving to skate with music playing, but nobody has to know it’s not playing anything.
We’re not allowed to wear headphones at our rink (in case you need to yell at someone to “look out!”), so that’s not an option for us. I actually have a COACH who does this to me. She is frequently interrupting my precious practice time and just wants to chatter or say, “Oh! You’re so close on that .” I just give her quick, short answers and act like I need to get going. I’m sure that other adults see this as being stuck up or snobbish, but like you, I am there at the rink to practice.
On the upside, I think dealing with this type of person has made my practices more efficient! Like you, I try to cut the interaction as short as possible, and I have also taken to minimizing my aimless skating between skills — because that’s when you’re most vulnerable! If I do a sit spin, then examine my tracing and linger and think about what to do next, I’m a sitting duck for interruption. But if I do a sit spin, then immediately skate away purposefully and start jumping, etc., it cuts down on that potential.
I think you need to fill out and print one of these and discreetly leave it in the offenders skate bag…
HAHA. I like the option for the offense that’s “not yet occurred.”
Hello I discover you blog, it’s great. I’ll try to improve my english and to write better comments ! Veronique (France)
my friend is “that” person at the rink. haha..he insists that people come up to him and ask his advice, but he just loooves giving it out freely. Although I do notice that some people actually do appreciate some of his tips.. Still slightly annoying though.
Wow, this actually happens? hmm…ideally, I would respond with, “thanks for the tip, but I’d rather have my coach be the only one correcting my form. Wouldn’t want to mess up her hard work. Ta!”